Even though the results might not be good, it is still my wish, and everyone's wish for u to be a Great SINGER next time! God has used you well with ur voice. Well, keep it up!

Anyway, went for felicia's singing competition - semi finals. Hmm.. the contestants were all very very good, some. Many of them have very good tone, voice line and gifted. Well, we all had a great time at the Hereens! Won 3 vouchers for heerens, which esther got to keep 2 of them!

Fel did pangsei as in the end, so we went over to Mos Burger Taka for dinner. Don't ask why we ended up there. Cuz everything closes at 10pm in Orchard T_T

Well.. all i can say is that "It has been an eventful sem 2 so far."

Lots of stuff happened. Made new friends in tutorial groups, learnt new stuff in many of my lectures - except Stats. Ya... haI~ Japanese I1 just ended a few weeks back.... I2 gonna start on wed evening 630pm. Gonan learn on short passages, and more grammar =) Sounds very fun!!

Hmm.... our bible studies group at clinton's has just started not long ago. Yesterday was my first session. But it has spoke to me ALOT. For one thing: Prayer as the basis of leading a Christian lifestyle. Have i been praying? nope... not alot.... havent really pray and talked to God for a long long time. Perhaps that is also why i couldnt do many other stuff which i ought to be doing... perhaps it's really because my r/s with God isnt deep enough. God, please draw me closer to you. At the same time, i do earnestly hope that my friends would be touched by the Love of God, and walk in the light =)

Having said so,... i also realised that in whatever we do, we act, we say... there must be a motivation behind it all. Be it in good intents, having altruistic motives, or just plainly a bothersome chore to be completed - there is just that motivation to do so. Can we say that an action has intrinsic value therefore i do it. Well... that question bugged me for quite long. But i do have a suggested answer to it now.  Actions or by doing something, it means NOTHING at ALL. It does not have intrinsic value to it. Thus, meaningless. Meaning of an action is associated. We determine the value of an action by associating it certain meaning in our brains, so thus encouraging ourselves to go for it because there is a purpose. Eg. Giving to old folks doesn't mean anything. It's just an action. But we associate it with being generous and kind to people who are needy. This gives meaning to the action, thus enabling us to feel satisfied when the action is done.

What's our meaning to life then?

Hmmm... perhaps it's the emo time of the year again.

After going through so much,... studying so hard.. working for so long... What is it that keeps me going? What am i doing with my life? What's that goal which i'm aiming for?!

Why do so many things, when in the end.. it feels worthless to do so.

God seems so far away for me nowadays. Sometimes i wonder.. whether not having a God would be better than having one... because without God, there's no need for accountability. Now with God, i have someone to be accountable, and at the same time... more worries, no help. Looking at my non-christian friends, it makes me wonder, why are they still as happy without God. And me being a christian, is far worse and less happy than them. I thought my life should be better?!

Well, i cant answer all those questions now. It's getting too emo.

Having a Heart that says - Yes; while the rational mind thinks otherwise.

No answers at all - Just letting time settle wash it away with the footprints on the sand. It's good leaving memories behind on sand, because these are too painful to remember. Let the tide wash it away. But for the happy moments, lets carve it onto a piece of stone and into our hearts.

I'm not sure why am i so emo when school starts. But this semester will be different. I'm no longer searching, i'm yearning.

Hmmm.... had caroling last night. It was a drizzly and wet Christmas Eve.

First started off at Golden Age Baptist Home - Sung songs, did activities and had an early dinner with our elderly folks. Wooot! I love the happy smiles on their faces...

The worship team also sung beautifully, glorifying God with their two amazing songs. Hmmm. then came the skit. I'm glad everything went fine.. Had a good laugh with Anthony - *She me shi shen dan~.......* Ooops.

2nd House was Uncle Jerry's and Auntie Connie's place. As usual, we sung, heard and had lots of fun with each other and with the guests of Uncle Jerry's. Well, it's their first time opening their house for caroling, so i'm glad they have agreed to it.

3rd Location was Uncle Simon and Auntie Carol's place. Hmmm.... i remember going to their house before. It's at the very secluded corner of chua chu kang! As usual... we sung... read, heard. LOL.. when it came to the worship team's performance - *laughter* Well.. we'll leave it as memories. Perhaps it's juz apt to say that they .. hmmm.. were really really tired.

4th and Last place was Uncle Gilbert's and Auntie Annie's . Their house isn't foreign to our church members. We love their place.. huge and able to accommodate all of us. We reached in the nick of time.. the long trip from the North to Tenah Merah almost led us to resort to counting down in the church van! Food there was fantastic. I LOVE TARTS. hahaa... ate alot alot alot.... and went home really late (which resulted in a scolding from my grandma at home)

This is Christmas for me.

Actual Christmas is a rather lonely one =0

An interesting question arose while i was with my aunties at the Mahjong Table.

Aunties, "When are you going to have a girlfriend?"

Zh, "Well.... i haven't got the green light for it yet."

Aunties, "I thought u have many from church? Are they all not your girlfriend?"

Zh, "hmm.. they are just church friends. So i get the green light to have one?"

Aunties, " So long as you can handle ur studies (sounds more like... PLEASE GET ONE QUICK)"

Zh, "ok... Green light it is.."

So what's your idea of Christmas?

It's a sad sad day. Went for some interview this morning. Thought i was really prepared for it - but i'm not. I don't even know what's the programme about.

Nothing much i can do though. It was quite bad, threw the chance away. I guess by God's grace, i was able to qualify for the interview. Heard a few didnt even have the chance for the interview.

Seems like i've to improve my oral english - Getting really bad. Have been using lots of colloquials.

Exams are round the corner. I've not prepared anything yet. Must work really hard now. Gonna put other stuff off my mind.... i guess i aint good enough afterall =)

Thank you God for loving me.

I love you =)

Hope everything is still fine.
School has been really tiring.... Lots of stuff to do, rushing reports after reports, assignments after assignments. When will it all end?

And i'm now in the worship team. like.. what?! i cant even play the piano well.... feels quite inadequate to be with them. Have been learning from Bao Ann since 1 mth ago... but i dun seem to be able to pick it up yet... It's sad.

Plus, i'm in-charge of Watchnight 2008! Watchnight service.... hmmm.. how should it be different this year?! More time for reflections? More activities? more?......

Anyway, have not been using jap for a long time.. maybe i'll try to type some tonight.

今晩は、じほんです。どぞよろしく　お願いします。

最近とっても急がしい、時間がない。スポとをしたいけど、勉強しなければ　なりません。でも　大丈夫ね、休み　もうすぐだよ！私の日本語は段段上手になりません。今下手ね！

でも、私は勉強しば　日本語は上手になります。止めってない！

手伝って　お願いします。

lol... am i depressed?! Yes.. i am.. lol..

After listening to all the sorrows my friends have in life... i start to wonder... where's God when we need Him? For some, they don't believe in one - thus the only hope they have in life is themselves. Only they can save themselves.. and we all know.. we do fail most of the time, leaving them with an ever so slight hope.

I'm glad i have a Great God.

Whatever worries or sorrows that I have, i can place it at his foot, total surrender to him.....  In that way, i know i have a secured hope - a secure future, and a secured after-life.

And what is the price to pay for this wonderful gift?

None - Just say Yes to Jesus.

But still, many cant accept this offer. God has been ITT-ing all the way.... and troubles in life is just too great to bear alone. Resisting God even though it's the easier choice...

Are we too egoistic to accept that we are not our own masters?

Maybe... God just wants to tell us - you are nothing without me. Try as hard as you will... you are still nothing but a soul in this world... waiting to be engulfed by fire as your clock ticks down.......... Pull that emergency stop button - to find God awaiting.

Pull it.

1. I would like to give my room a good renovation.

2. A SUPER computer

3. A car

4. A new badminton racket

5. Give my friends and family a treat.

6. Save up the rest for future expenses.

What will you do with your 1 million yen?

- I was listening to this podcast by some japanese school kids. The hosts interviewed them, asking them why do they deserve this 1mil Yen... Lol... the replies are nice and heart warming.. Many spoke of giving to their parents or intends to buy some really cool gadgets, or even go to CHINA!!? (why not the States? or even Singapore =P)

Well... i'm gonan work alot harder for Japanese.... i'm already progressing well, able to catch some conversation here and there... hopefully i'll be well =)

Again, another tiring weekend. Hmmm i wonder when will we have a weekend that isnt eventful at all! From what i've gathered so far.... my mid terms are coming, term papers are due soon... and tutorials undone. - Zh is really lagging far behind others.

Will zh be able to chase up and gain pole position? Will the conditions of the track be favourable? Not likely. But with God, anything is possible.

I'll be embarking on a morning fast + prayer session along with some of the youths in church. Mainly praying and fasting for the growth of our church and for everyone of us who are out there battling in the heat of exams or any other challenges. - I will Survive!

No japanese post today. Too tired to think. Good night to all.

こんにちは、今日はどう？楽しかった？疲れた？どうだった？

先生は面白くないね、聞いてないね。

友達に話している、何も言った。じゃ、月曜日に四人友達とPulau Ubinへ遊ぶに行きます。Fishingや授業や話すやそこにします。とても行きたいだよ。でも、学校に授業を入ってから、月曜日まで急ぎます！毎日ゆっくり勉強して下さい。

「正義の味方」見た、Showは面白いと思う。今晩最後のEpisodeを見たい！

はい、また後で。

Wed Jul 2, 2008 11:19am EDT

From Reuters....

By Mary Milliken

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Rita Boyadjian wishes she were in a better mood to celebrate the weddings of fellow gay friends after California began legally marrying same-sex couples last month.

But her partner of six years is a German woman whose U.S. student visa runs out soon. Even if they were to legally marry in California, Margot (not her real name) could not stay in the United States because the federal government does not recognize same-sex marriage for immigration purposes.

This month the well-to-do couple and their nine-month-old baby will move to Germany so they can stay together.

"It's a little bittersweet, I have to be honest," said Boyadjian, 38, a first-generation American who owns a Hollywood entertainment marketing company.

"I am very happy for my friends and I do know a lot of people who are getting married this summer ... but I am sad that while the celebrations are going on, I have to leave."

Gay rights activists estimate that 40,000 binational gay and lesbian couples in the United States are caught in the same legal limbo. A solution, they say, is years away.

When California's Supreme Court struck down a ban on gay marriage in May, becoming the second state after Massachusetts to allow same-sex nuptials, Boyadjian said she was inundated with congratulatory calls from friends believing the couple's problems were solved.

But the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services confirms that nothing changes with the California court's ruling.

"The couples are married under state laws in California. The federal government does not recognize these marriages for immigration purposes," USCIS spokeswoman Chris Rhatigan told Reuters.

Binational couples could make matters worse if they wed since getting married signals intent to stay in the United States.

"We cannot get married in California without jeopardizing Margot's future visa applications," said Boyadjian.

Indeed, legal experts are telling these couples not to rush to the altar in California, which, unlike Massachusetts, will marry non-resident gays and lesbians.

'UNFAIR AND UNJUST'

Rachel Tiven, executive director for advocacy group Immigration Equality, is pinning hopes on passage of the Uniting American Families Act in the U.S. Congress "in the next few years." That act would let U.S. citizens in binational same-sex relationships sponsor their foreign-born partners for immigration.

Tiven said gay and lesbian couples have learned to live with their lack of rights because their relationships make it all worth it. But the immigration inequality "can cost you the relationship itself," she said.

Shannon Minter, legal director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights, said he has seen many gay and lesbian couples like Boyadjian and Margot leave the country to stay together.

"We have a gay brain drain," said Minter.

At least 19 nations worldwide provide some form of immigration benefits to the same-sex partners of citizens and permanent residents, while the U.S. still refuses. They include Canada as well as about a dozen European countries.

Thom Vernon, a California arts educator with two graduate degrees, had to move to Canada to save his relationship with his partner, who is from Zimbabwe. They have since married.

"I am an American citizen, for God's sake," said Vernon from his home in Toronto. "The fact that I can't bring in my partner of nine years is incredibly unfair and unjust."

As a highly educated professional, Vernon has an advantage in seeking residency in another country like Canada, but binational couples of lesser means don't have that option.

One such couple is formed by Dora, a Mexican national who has not been able to secure permanent residency in the United States, and Patty, who was born in Mexico but recently became a U.S. citizen. The lesbian couple resides in the San Francisco Bay Area, plans to marry and asked that their last names not be used due to immigration concerns.

"We do live with the fear of deportation," said Dora, who is now here legally and has a job driving a garbage truck. "We don't know what would happen. It is not like Patty could go to Mexico because she has her daughters here."

Minter can't predict when these gay and lesbian couples will be able to breathe easy, but says he is encouraged by the growing public support for gay rights in the last four years.

"We are seeing the fear dissipate and I think that will eventually spill over to the immigration context," Minter said. "Real families are being torn apart and once it clicks in, that is 90 percent of the battle."

(Additional reporting by Tim Gaynor in Phoenix and Martha Sanchez in Los Angeles; Editing by Eric Walsh)

今日は授業がありませんでした。ちょっと暇！朝遅く起きた後で、Webをつかりました。そして、Pastor AlvinのうちへAshleyにおしえに行きました。Tuitionは三時に始めました、でも私は三時半に着きました。ほんとに忘れた。昨日Pastorに「三時にTuitionを始めます」と言いました。如何して三時半と思っていた？知らないよ。。。

明日長い一日から、今晩は早く寝なければなりません。

待った。

お休みなさい。

Today's my free day. Nothing much to do, slacked for the whole morning. It feels really good to just relax and enjoy. Well.. going over to ashley's place later. Hopefully will be back for dinner (finally). Well... hope it ask anyone for movies in the evening if possible.. else, it's fine anyway.

Yes... down with a serious bout of flu. Very achy and spinny.... haI~ when will the good old days of hols arrive. Next week seems a mile away.

Yupx... gonna have lots of tuition and stuff liddat for the whole of this week. Still considering what to do with my tutorials that are progressively piling up.

Japanese is fine for now. Much stuff to memorise and study. At least i still understand the lesson so far, well not sure whether i'll be able to continue my interest in this beautiful language. We are starting on some basic kanji.. Seems really like alot of chinese words all over again. DIFFERENT PRONUNCIATION..!!

Some entry from me =)

はい、ジホンです。毎周日本語でBLOGを書きたい。自分の日本語が下手ことを知っている。全然悪い。でも、日本語は上手になりたいから、多く勉強する！

がんばって！

遅くねるは身体に悪くになります、何故なら早く寝てる。

お休みなさい、待った一日か。

Having lecture now... Catherine Tay's animated and entertaining lecture... "If you talk talk talk, you miss the lecture.. then i cant sue you, u cant sue me." haI~ why must we sue each other?

Lawyers will all in the end. Mathematical models proves substantially... the reality speaks for itself. Well.... maybe I should be a lawyer instead!

Misrepresentation, Say it's Durian, but turns out it is more of a Banana... Well... That's a misrepresentation. Then judge whether issit Fraudent, Negligent or Wholly Innocent because remedies are different. Damages + recession for Fraud + Neg, and  only recession for Innocent. Recession is giving back to return to the person.

Well, after lecture, our grp of friend had our later lunch. Over lunch, we had a good talk on how Catherine Tay really confused us with out of context examples! Bringing it down to our level does not allow us to have the academic rigor demanded by the exams.

Anyway, was late for lecture. Self-fulfilling prophecy - the Pygmalion Effect/Rosenthal effect or "Teacher expectancy effect" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_effect ..... then also.. there's the attribution theory... > Fundamental attribution error -> behaviours seen as caused by the person (internal) rather than situation (external).

Social Identity Theory, associate myself as belonging to a group, attached to a group. We categorise people into groups, then homogenise people within the same group, then differentiate ourselves from other groups. Identity exp "Blue eyes, brown eyes effect".

Well... 3 weeks of sch has just zoomed past in a flash. Much has NOT been done. But the work is just piling.

zh says:

It was so slack!

<----- That was 3 weeks ago

zh says:

O no.... i'm buried in a sea of work

<--- now.

I wonder if there is an end to it.... Yes.. there's a term break in week 20sep .... Oya... just an update: I'm gonna collect my lappie TOMORROW!!! - eagerly awaiting the arrival of the tablet... and yes.. i bought the T5010 Fujitsu. Even though X61 was lighter... and i would really have bought it.. but it isnt available in sch. So fujitsu is just the next best thing to get.

Schedule for next week:

Mon: 3pm collection of lappie; 6pm - 2 meetings

Tues: 6 - 10 tuition

Wed: Ashley tuition + haircut + evening 6pm meeting(nus)

Thurs: Possible tuition with edmund edwin 6- 10

Fri: Bible study

Sat: Morning free; afternoon YF

Sun: Church + Tuition + soccer + badminton

Where's my break? - zh will be totally burnt out

Fujitsu T5010 is super cooollllll..... i love it alot!!! comes with a heafty price tag though... still wondering whether to buy.... YES zh? no ZH?

F C Bb F Bb F Gm7 C
古いアルバムめくり　ありがとうってつぶやいた
Furui arubamu (album) mekuri arigatou tte tsubuyaita
F C Bb F Bb F Gm7 C F
いつもいつも胸の中　励ましてくれる人よ
itsumo itsumo mune no naka hagemashite kureru hito yo
C Cm Bb F Gm7 C
晴れ渡る日も　雨の日も　浮かぶあの笑顔
harewataru hi mo ame no hi mo ukabu ano egao
C Am7 Bbmaj7 F
想い出遠くあせても
omoide tooku asete mo
Bb F Bb F Bb F Gm7 C F
おもかげ探して　よみがえる日は　涙そうそう
omokage sagashite yomigaeru hi wa nada sousou
F C Bb F Bb F Gm7 C
一番星に祈る　それが私のくせになり
ichiban hoshi ni inoru sore ga watashi no kuse ni nari
F C Bb F Bb F Gm7 C F
夕暮れに見上げる空　心いっぱいあなた探す
yuugure ni miageru sora kokoro ippai anata sagasu
C Cm Bb F Gm7 C
悲しみにも　喜びにも　想うあの笑顔
kanashimi ni mo yorokobi ni mo omou ano egao
C Am7 Bbmaj7 F
あなたの場所から私が
anata no basho kara watashi ga
Bb F Bb F Bb F Gm7 C F
見えたら　きっといつか　会えると信じ　生きてゆく
mietara kitto itsuka aeru to shinji ikite yuku
C Cm Bb F Gm7 C
晴れ渡る日も　雨の日も　浮かぶあの笑顔
harewataru hi mo ame no hi mo ukabu ano egao
C Am7 Bbmaj7 F
想い出遠くあせても
omoide tooku asete mo
Bb F Bb F Bb F Gm7 C F
さみしくて　恋しくて　君への想い　涙そうそう
samishikute koishikute kimi e no omoi nada sou sou
Bb F Bb F Bb F Gm7 C F
会いたくて　会いたくて　君への想い　涙そうそう
aitakute aitakute kimi e no omoi nada sou sou

Realised that it has been a long time since a new entry was added. Many events, good and bad occurred throughout the week. Many thoughts as well. But no matter what... IT's Week 2 of Sem 1!!! Hurray!

Looking back at week 1, hmmm..... It was really memorable. Not just in terms of making new friends, knowing the place, knowing my lecturers, knowing everyone who are with me. It's just the feeling of BEING PART of NUS! well... i can now call myself a undergrad... a freshie, a year 1. Having attended four lectures... i've had a sudden realisation that.... GOSH>>> THERE's LOTS OF READING TO DO! - This is bad.

I was reading and reading and memorising accounting concepts from the textbook. While i'm doing that, my bro, whose sem exams falls on next week, is still on the comp - deeply addicted to wow. I was wondering... HOW CAN I BE STUDYING MORE THAN MY BROTHER!! Something must be wrong - either I'm STUPID(which i am) or He is a child prodigy(which is a absolute possiblility). Lets await his results i guess. And to add in a note... He will definitely score A+ for his WOW4312 module. And he can definitely provide an excellent discourse on the topic Wow: Mage skills.

Anyway, ONE SUPER IMPORTANT THING TO ANNOUNCE - ANGELINE IS NOW A CHRISTIAN!!!!!! WOOOOOOT!!

I'm so glad that she has join us as a family of Christ. She has accepted the Lord with Darren, plin and I PLUS Pastor Alvin as witness. I'm so happy that she has taken the step to more great things to come. Welcome! - And please remind me to buy her a nice bible - she deserves it.

Sch started. My free days are over. Hmmm... looking at the timetable, it seems as though there's lots of stuff to do. Yet, the feeling of stress has not sink in. However, there is one feeling which has. God, i have less time for you now.

Sometimes i wonder.. how can i incorporate God into life. Is God above life, with life, or inferior to life. Where is God in our lives? On the throne, co-reigning with me, or is God only an advisor - useful when trouble arises.

What's happening to me now? After listening to my peers and everything, i felt like an airhead. lol... ya.. felt as if i knew nothing about life, nothing about anything. Feels stupid.

But at the end of it all... Thinking about such things wont make me any smarter too. So don't think about it =P (perfect response of an airhead)

Intermediate lessons for Jap is starting soon. Not sure whether to enrol for it. Once a week on monday. Passion vs time management. How can i find a balance?

There's just too many things in the airhead - filling it up fast too because of space constrains. Well.. we'll just keep it in mind and wait for it to overflow. Pastor's secret project was have done too. Timetable consolidation for more time together... I guess many more things coming up. Where are my friends?! Made some in Uni. Some are really nice, some are just weird.. like the one who sat next to me during Microecons lecture. Total nerd - but at least... better than an airhead =)